Friday, February 22, 2008

What this site can do for you

Hey Hogsters
This is to fill you in on what you can do while you're visiting this site and what it offers, including some new features added by our IT guru Kevan Gilberto Silver (aka Roo) in the past two days. While the blog has a fun/frivolous aspect to it, it also has a functionality that will help you during the season.
If everyone uses it as an information tool in season (and I’m not saying you have to look at it 2-3 times a day!) we can do away with the email traffic.
I’d like to give you a brief tour of what the blog can do for you in practical terms.
Breaking news: In the event of a washout, either for training and/or games, or for news such as rego days and fees, information will come up here FIRST. If you have doubts about training or games because of the weather, check here. If a decision on a washout is pending we’ll use breaking news to let you know what time to check back at the blog for a decision.
The Players: This started as a static list of names. Kevan has done an amazing job of giving us all individual links so that we can update your appearances, goals and some biographical information. Some are already active (Kevan’s, Fergus’s etc). If you feel up to it please email a photograph of yourself to Kev and he’ll replace the dummy ones currently in there.
Stats Centre: Perhaps the most important part of the blog is the When I’m Away link. It is now active and mlive, which means you can go in there and click on the dates you are away and we can all see this. If your name is listed as away for an upcoming game you are skipped in the rostering of games, so please, if you know already that you’re at a wedding in the third week of August, visit the blog and the When I’m Away link. When fixtures, results and tables start coming in they will be in this section. Also, this is where you can easily vote for the 3-2-1s after each match.
The fun stuff will usually appear on the right. To leave a comment click on the 0 comments (etc) field under each blog and it should be fairly easy from there.
At this stage Dave, Kevan and I are the only ones with access to post directly to the blog. If you wish to have access please let me know. If you want something put up, you could also just email me with it and I will.

Social Eyes . . . with Dave Downing

Social Dave has asked for this to be put up on here and for y'all to comment on which of these appeals. He says we will restrict to maybe 2 or 3 events during the season.

1) Pre-season Golf & BBQ day at Illawarra Golf Club ‘Hawaii Dress’ applicable, all the family invited and to be held before our first game.
2) One weekend during the season for Trivia night at Bowlo.
3) Australian world cup qualifiers at Bowlo (voluntary attendance).
4) Away game at Jamberoo to include family outing.
5) 1 or 2 beers after all games at bowlo . . . support our local.
6) Raffle during the season to support the local surf club at Wombarra.

Dave adds: All team members should provide options for end of season trip, I recommend Kangaroo Valley.

Finally, he suggests we provide our following band of supporting wife’s with their exclusive supporters T-shirts - "The Wine Hogs".
TH10 thinks that if FMaster appraoched the Scarborough Pub to be our home establishment we might score some shirts. Think he may bring this up on Saturday night at trivia.

Introducing . . . Graeme Duncan

Known to his teammate as Becks since a recent haircut, GD is an excellent crosser of the ball, like his namesake. Also, like Beckham, he has spent a bit of time at the physio, although football usually isn’t to blame

Where I grew up
Ye Olde Sydney town, southern, western and eastern suburbs, we moved a bit.
My first soccer team
I have to ask Dad, I really can’t remember, I did not play much as a kid.
My greatest soccer moment?
Yet to happen.
WAGs (wives and girfriends) name?
Elissa.
KADs (kids and dogs) names?
Ben, Bianca and JJ the hound.
That embarrassing childhood nickname I don’t want anyone to know was…
Not telling because it still haunts me to the day.
The nickname I’d choose for myself
That would be anti-Australian wouldn’t it…
My job
Telco Design and Construction Consultant.
My dream job
Serial pest.
My favourite footy team (and why)
A fairly small club that not many people have heard of, I think they’re called Arsenal?
My favourite (other) sport
Snowboarding.
My favourite sportsman (or woman)
Jamie Lynn (no not Britney Spears’ sister) – champion snowboarder
My favourite TV show
Toss up between Top Gear or Drawn Together.
Fave movie
True Romance.
Fave musician/band
White Stripes.
The song I like the most
Dead Leaves and the dirty ground
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tZKFruA_Wro
What I like to cook
Meat, meat and more meat!
Last book I read and was it any good
I should read more, given I can’t remember.
Quiet night in or big night out?
Depends on the lunar cycle.
Cheese or chocolate?
Chocolate.
Paris or Kylie?
One for each arm will do.





"WHAT I LIKE TO COOK IS MEAT, MEAT AND MORE MEAT!"







If I was a TV character I’d be?
Either Beavis or Butthead.
If I was a type of fish I’d be?
A prawn, hang on, that’s a crustacean isn’t it?
My dream car is?
Shelby GT500.
If I had $10 million I’d give it to
Probably the TAB.
The best beer is?
Winter = Coopers sparkling
Summer = Coopers pale
I’d like to be reincarnated as
The iron chef
What’s Cristiano Ronaldo got, that I haven’t got
Gold teeth?
Goalkeepers. Who needs ‘em?
I do, to cover my mistakes!
Tell us a joke
Q: Why do dogs have cold noses? A: So they don't burn other dogs' bums.

Nice one, Becks. Try staying off that snowboard this winter.

From the manager's barstool

By Gary TT Jordan
With training finally underway, it was heartening to see such a tremendous turn out of 16 Hogs. It’s to be hoped that the enthusiasm the lads showed by their training attendance is replicated by our turnout for the home and away season. Everyone appeared to be focused as our new coaches put us through some excellent drills. Management can only hope that the scouts from the major leagues around the world were not secretly watching.
As previously stated, there will be no midseason transfers or interclub loans considered this year. In fact The Cripple reports that the Hogs may need to consider training behind closed doors as the kick off to the season draws nearer.
The session provided a great opportunity for everyone to assemble once again and the bonus of catching up with our very own Coastal Hog of the year proved too good for the majority. Its hard to produce a body of top line players without a heart. Welcome back Sean.
The most pleasing aspect of training was the session we reserved for the backyard at the home of T Harps. The Cripple was most impressed by the temperature of the beverages and the abundance thereof. He has however received a yellow card. Children and early evenings the night before school has been mentioned in dispatches.
The worry management had over fitness levels has well and truly been dismissed with the look of some of our skins following the first training run. The proposed trial against the Russell Vale Masters may still raise some concerns, depending on our injury list afterwards. It will be a great opportunity for management to analyse players positional preferences and their suitability to the team structure. We all hope a date for the proposed trial will soon be known.
In further developments regarding training, it has come to light that our ‘gun’ coaches will be unavailable for our next session on 27 February. Management accepts that Forster City would like to utilise T Harps for a one off innovative skills session and Caltex United for a similar session with ‘Prime Minister’ Keating. Training however will seem like old times with our captain and team conductor John the “Don" Brandman handling the reigns for this session. The Cripple will also be absent because of the yellow card.
It's come to light that a previous infringement recently received during a simple party game has resulted in him having to sit out the night. Fines to be considered.
Management tip of the week: Remember training vests when next we all assemble together.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Introducing . . . Gary Hitman Hardie

Legend has it that “Dirty Harry” is the reason shin guards were invented. Like a mosquito buzzing in your ear before chowing down on your flesh, he’s a universally renowned pest. Be thankful he’s on our side.

Where I grew up Engadine.
My first soccer team Gymea Baptist.
My greatest soccer moment? Every time I score (so there haven’t been many).
WAG’s name? Karen.
KADs (kids and dogs) names? Kids: Imogen (9), Brendan (6), William (2). My ever-loyal dog, Vinnie, died just before Christmas. Currently three guinea pigs
That embarrassing childhood nickname I don’t want anyone to know was… The only nickname I’ve had is Harry. I had it all through school after a girl in year 7 thought it was funny to reverse the first letter of each of my names Gary Hardie - Harry Gardie. Many of my old friends still call me Harry.
My job Engineer.
My dream job Architect.
My favourite footy team (and why) Football: Liverpool because I grew up in the Craig Johnston era. I think the 1986 FA Cup final against Everton did it for me. NRL: Cronulla because they teach you to live with disappointment. Actually, can’t watch NRL anymore. AFL: Swans because they play with heart and never give up. NFL: 49ers. Bring back Joe Montana!
My favorite (other) sport Cricket.
My favourite sportsman Steven Bradbury. His winter Olympic gold medal was the epitome of the way sport should be played. Do your best no matter the odds, never give up, and hope like hell everyone else stuffs up.
My favourite TV show A HBO series called Carnivale.
Fave movie Raiders of the Lost Ark
Fave musician/band So many. Love music. Talking Heads, Arctic Monkeys (click on link), Faithless, The Killers. Pretty much anything not main stream pre-packaged pop.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7XTULcETGqk
The song I like the most Varies daily.
What I like to cook Big all day prep affairs for Christmas lunch etc. I worked as a chef through uni.
Last book I read was The Unquiet by John Connolly. Fantastic author, highly recommended. Currently reading The Stand by Stephen King. Huge undertaking (1300 pages) and hard to put down.








"IF I HAD $10 MILLION I'D GIVE IT TO
A DESERVING CAUSE"








Quiet night in or big night out? Everyone needs both. Big night outs are now fewer so you learn to make the most out of them.
Cheese or chocolate? Stilton, strong and bitey. Can only do chocolate in small amounts.
Paris or Kylie? Done both, overrated. Been in the Paris Hilton (who hasn’t) – had to use the front door. Kissed Kylie on the cheek in Stockholm.
If I was a TV character I’d be? Ben from Carnivale. Tortured character with the power of God.
If I was a type of fish I’d be? What sort of question is that?
The best beer is? Served cold by buxom wenches.
What’s Cristiano Ronaldo got, that I haven’t got?
Apart from the obvious (skill, looks, Gemma Atkinson (She now with Marcus Bent says TH10), money, Portuguese accent), he’s currently driving an Audi R8.
My dream car is? Bugatti Veyron. Crazy W16 quad turbo engine. Makes everything else ever built look tired.

Goalkeepers. Who needs ‘em? With defense like ours, you’re right. Wasted player really.
Tell us a joke Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

Trust Gary to come up with a joke where someone is left senselessly bleeding on the floor!



Tuesday, February 12, 2008

From the manager's saddle


By Gary "TT" Jordan

Word is filtering through that the fitness levels of some players is below what it should be. A look around the playing field on Sunday mornings has one particular member of management dispirited.

Whether it be because he struggles to open his eyes Sunday mornings anyhow or that he fails constantly to get a game is a bone of contention. The mere fact that The Cripple has other things on his mind except football is more of a concern for management at this time.

The match between Australia and Qatar Wednesday was a great opportunity for management to assess the form of some of our players. Irish Dave showered glimpses of his best with a glass in hand and T Harps certainly had the Cooper's tap well covered. The Cripple was surprised to see him in a defensive role given that he himself was keeping a close eye on that part of the field. Full marks should go to the fines master and Gary H for not only having vehicles outside but also for staying till last drinks. Speaking of cars, The Cripple is keen to know just how his got home. Big Dean and cohort Big Phil were also well in the spirit, however management has some concerns about the level of spirits.

The Cripple has spoken with management about the concerns over fitness and has come to an agreement which should satisfy everyone. Provided we finish on the right side of the scoreline each week we're not particularly worried about how we might look. After all, it's not what our fitness should be but rather what it needs to be.
Tip for week: Play as much football as you watch.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Your cheatin' hearts

If an opponent calls you a "cheat" this season don't lash out, take a moment to consider - he may be raising a valid point. Only one of 12 Coastal Hogs who voted in our latest poll raised an objection to diving to win a penalty or freekick in ANY situation.
Four said diving was always justified, six said it was only justified against our archrivals, the Sweat Hogs, and one felt it was okay only if we were losing.
"The findings are quite disgraceful," moaned Coastal Hogland editor TH10. "I can't believe we're about to go into battle with a player who doesn't appreciate the art of diving. Gilly did the right thing and walked away when his morals got in the way of what was good for his team."
TH10 called on the dissenting voter to own up so his every tumble could be placed under intense scrutiny this season.
"Eleven out of 12 Hogs are prepared to play the game the way FIFA prefers it to be played. Diving, moaning, faking, rolling and groaning are an essential part of the football experience. It should be good enough for us all."

Introducing . . . Fergus Rourke

It’s been a long, long way from where Fergus grew up to his new home at the Coastal Hogs. Let’s hope our number 17 plays more like his favourite sportsman than the TV character he’d most like to be.


Where I grew up Tipperary, Ireland.
My first soccer team Thurles Town.
My greatest soccer moment? Sometime in (Manchester) United’s treble year (Keane’s game in Turin, Giggsy’s goal in FA Cup semi, last couple of minutes against Bayern in European Cup – lots of greatest memories from that year).
WAG's (wives and girlfriends) name? Charlotte.
KAD's (kids and dogs) names? Kids: Maeve, Nara & Keenan.

That embarrassing childhood nickname I don’t want anyone to know was Fungus.

My job Technical Architect.
My dream job Manager of Manchester United.

My favourite footy team (and why) Manchester United. I can’t remember why I started supporting them so young. My brother was a Liverpool supporter and it could have been to piss him off. He had great fun in the 80’s but I’ve been laughing since.

What I like to cook anything Thai.
My favourite TV show Shameless.
Fave movie The Good, the Bad & the Ugly.
Fave musician/band U2.
The song I like the most Where the Streets Have no Name (click below).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QQxl9EI9YBg





"MY FAVOURITE
SPORT IS HURLING"


Last book I read and was it any good
Good Omens by Terry Prachett & Neil Gaiman. Great book.
Quiet night in or big night out? Big night out.
Cheese or chocolate? Cheese.
Paris or Kylie? Kylie.
If I was a TV character I’d be? Invisible Man.
My favourite sportsman
Roy Keane (TH10: Famous Sunderland manager!).

If I was a type of fish I’d be? Salmon.
My dream car is? E Type Jaguar.
If I had $10 million I’d give it to Car Dealers, Airlines, Cruise Ships, Casinos etc…
The best beer is? Guinness from a tap in Ireland.





"I'D LIKE TO BE
REINCARNATED
AS AN EAGLE"







What’s Cristiano Ronaldo got, that I haven’t got Hair Stylist.
Tell us a joke Q: What’s the biggest kind of ant?. A: An elephANT

Ha! So much for the legendary Irish sense of humour, Fungus. If you know of a crappier joke than this guys, please share it.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Rego and season start date

Club secretary Greg Rendell reports that the IAFA has yet to set a start date for the competition. Greg suggests that Saturday, March 29 is the likely kickoff for the new season but a final decision is not expected until the next IAFA meeting late this month.
Meanwhile Greg says that a decision on how, when and where to register has also yet to be made but details will be sent out as soon as it's worked out.
The club is also seeking players for the all-age team which played in third division last season(from memory) and for a proposed over-35s women's team. If you know anyone who might be interested in these teams can you please direct them to Greg at 0411 273 338.

Friday, February 1, 2008

Introducing . . . Kevan Silver



The Hogs Number 8 likes fast cars, big bikes, Tottenham Hotspur, gaspers and scoring goals. He got a few last season and has been itching to get back amongst them from his viewpoint as JAAS goalkeeper in the summer sevens. In the first of a series aimed at helping us get to know our teammates, Kev opens up on sci-fi, the Hodfather and why soccer is a rubbish name for a sport.





Where I grew up
London
My first soccer team
That would be "football" - as in predominantly you use your FOOT to propel a BALL. "Soccer" bah! Tottenham. Or that I played for? Fryent primary school. Difference in ability between the two sides? Not a lot!
My greatest football moment
Hard to choose between the '84 UEFA Cup Final and the '81 FA Cup Final - or scoring the winner in the 2003 MWSA Grand Final for Mosman
WAGs (wives and girlfriends) name
Lynelle
KADs (kids and dogs) names
A very sick cat that is currently running up HUGE vet bills, it's imaginatively called...."Cat"
- no kids that I know of, but having said that, I have moved countries a lot!









"I’D LIKE TO BE REINCARNATED AS A VERY WEALTHY,
STUNNINGLY ATTRACTIVE LESBIAN"










That embarrassing childhood nickname I don’t want anyone to know was
Spaceman - don't ask! It didn't stick.
The nickname I’d choose for myself
I'm not that vain.
My job
Systems Analyst.
My dream job
Hugh Heffner's assistant
My favourite footy team (and why)
Tottenham - Dad took me to White Hart Lane aged 5 - can't change your team regardless of how poor they are!
My favourite (other) sport
Superbikes/MotoGP, but I'll watch practically any sport with the exception of swimming and thugby league.
My favourite sportsman (or woman)
Glenn Hoddle.
My favourite TV show
The Bill, or any Star Trek except Deep Space Nine
Fave movie
Comedy: Life of Brian
Drama: 12 Angry Men
Fave musician/band
The Who, Marillion, Aerosmith
My favourite song, like, ever
Behind Blue Eyes - The Who
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5_1RqyNdzbE
What I like to cook
SpagBol - NO you’re not invited - but your missus is!
Last book I read and was it any good
"Welcome To Hell: An Irishman's Fight For Life Inside The Bangkok Hilton" by Colin Martin.
Horror story of a man wrongfully sentenced to time in a Thai prison. Personally I didn't think he made you empathise with his plight, but it's not too bad a read.
Quiet night in or big night out
Depends on my mood.
Cheese or chocolate
Chocolate.
Paris or Kylie
Neither - unless I can have both at the same time? Nah - still think I'd pass ... hmmm... they both have lots of money though . . .
If I was a TV character I’d be
Dr Who.
If I was a type of fish I’d be
Babel fish - I tend to talk rubbish as it is!
My dream car is
Lotus Esprit.
If I had $10 million I’d give it to
50% to the taxman no doubt!
The best beer is
Wadworth 6X - closely followed by Newcastle Brown, Fullers ESB, Flowers IPA, Marsdens Pedigree. The only really bad thing about Australia is that you can't get Wadworths here :(
I’d like to be reincarnated as
A very wealthy, stunningly attractive lesbian
What’s Cristiano Ronaldo got, that I haven’t got
Diving skills.
Goalkeepers. Who needs 'em
The Jim Allen All Stars
Go on, tell us a joke
A man walks into a bar and says "ouch".
Thanks for going first, Kev. Ok guys all aboard - we need to find the big man a new nickname.