Friday, May 30, 2008
At the risk if getting a fine...
may I humbly suggest a fine for the fine master for not updating the fines paid to him...Questions will be asked in the House if he suddenly announces a holiday in the Carribbean....
Hogs Off The Top
IFS have taken (temporary) leadership of the table, mostly thanks to our inability to put Fernhill away.
Russell Vale would have been top if they hadn't inexplicably dropped two points against Balgownie.
With only 2 points between the top 5 there's all to play for.
Unfortunately the other 4 teams at the top all have relatively easy games this week, so we may well even have dropped out the top 4 come Saturday evening.
A rain swept Saturday may be in order!
IFS 3 Albion Park 2
Jamberoo 5 Shellharbour 1
Old Boys 9 Fernhill 0
Puma Masters 3 Coastal Hogs 1
Russell Vale 2 Balgownie Crows 2
Russell Vale would have been top if they hadn't inexplicably dropped two points against Balgownie.
With only 2 points between the top 5 there's all to play for.
Unfortunately the other 4 teams at the top all have relatively easy games this week, so we may well even have dropped out the top 4 come Saturday evening.
A rain swept Saturday may be in order!
IFS 3 Albion Park 2
Jamberoo 5 Shellharbour 1
Old Boys 9 Fernhill 0
Puma Masters 3 Coastal Hogs 1
Russell Vale 2 Balgownie Crows 2
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Roger, over and out...
Roger has decided that he won't have the desire to play for the Chogs this season and the search should probably begin for one or two reinforcements to turn the season around. Roger, speaking exclusively to coastalhogland.com's John Brandman, revealed he is bringing the curtain down on a long playing career.
"After 47 years of playing (I’m 57) I’ve decided to finally retire," Roger says. "Just to explain – I was injured most of last year and so decided I’d probably only play again at Masters 2nd division level or not at all – when that was not available I sort of decided that was time to stop and so I’ve been watching my son play for Thistles reserve grade and enjoying it.
"The call up came out of the blue a bit and I thought 'oh good, I’ll play' but I actually found that the desire was finally gone.
"This has nothing to do with the team – they made me very very welcome. I sincerely hope this doesn’t muck you round too much. . . The desire has finally gone – it will be just summer 7’s for me with the family. Please pass on my apologies."
Roger's decision probably means the Hogs should start thinking if they know of any others who might be interested in a game. Reinforcements were desperately needed in the second half on Saturday, with illness and injury taking a toll.
"After 47 years of playing (I’m 57) I’ve decided to finally retire," Roger says. "Just to explain – I was injured most of last year and so decided I’d probably only play again at Masters 2nd division level or not at all – when that was not available I sort of decided that was time to stop and so I’ve been watching my son play for Thistles reserve grade and enjoying it.
"The call up came out of the blue a bit and I thought 'oh good, I’ll play' but I actually found that the desire was finally gone.
"This has nothing to do with the team – they made me very very welcome. I sincerely hope this doesn’t muck you round too much. . . The desire has finally gone – it will be just summer 7’s for me with the family. Please pass on my apologies."
Roger's decision probably means the Hogs should start thinking if they know of any others who might be interested in a game. Reinforcements were desperately needed in the second half on Saturday, with illness and injury taking a toll.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Pumas 3 Chogs 1
The bye can't come quickly enough for the crocked Chogs after a second straight defeat on Saturday. Having to play with 13 players - several of whom were suffering significant knocks or colds - proved too much for the Chogs who fell to a better organised and fitter team. There was no lack of effort, however, and the story might have been different but for a bit of luck and some better refereeing.
Sean's burst into the box in the first half was halted by a double foul from the Pumas defenders but the referee ("I don't think he's biased, just shit" said one spectator) somehow came to the conclusion that they both kicked the ball instead of Sean.
The Chogs set up defensively and it seemed to work in the start but a serious lapse of concentration led to the opening goal. A superb save from Hector had the opposition howling that the ball had crossed the goalline. As they berated the ref we failed to clear our lines on the left, a cross came in to the far post and we had no-one there to prevent the goal.
Ant came close but was decked by the keeper, who was clearly not going for the ball, and the ref again waved play on. At half time our newcomer Roger had to leave, which left us facing a tough 45 minutes with two subs and several of us limping.
The game swung decisively soon after the resumption. Mark's goalward header was parried by the Pumas keeper and the ball just eluded Sean as he he slid in at the far post with the net wide open. The Pumas scrambled it clear, pushed up the other end and Hitman clipped the heels of the opposition attacker as he moved into the box on the right. From my viewpoint a penalty was the right decision, but the call grated considering the two or three shouts we had rejected in the first half.
Hector chose the right way but the penalty was struck too well. The Pumas added a third soon after with some hesitant defending to blame but an own goal gave us a glimmer of hope with half an hour to play.
Kev tried a couple of shots from range which came close but ultimately the Pumas were in control and deserved their win.
Sean's burst into the box in the first half was halted by a double foul from the Pumas defenders but the referee ("I don't think he's biased, just shit" said one spectator) somehow came to the conclusion that they both kicked the ball instead of Sean.
The Chogs set up defensively and it seemed to work in the start but a serious lapse of concentration led to the opening goal. A superb save from Hector had the opposition howling that the ball had crossed the goalline. As they berated the ref we failed to clear our lines on the left, a cross came in to the far post and we had no-one there to prevent the goal.
Ant came close but was decked by the keeper, who was clearly not going for the ball, and the ref again waved play on. At half time our newcomer Roger had to leave, which left us facing a tough 45 minutes with two subs and several of us limping.
The game swung decisively soon after the resumption. Mark's goalward header was parried by the Pumas keeper and the ball just eluded Sean as he he slid in at the far post with the net wide open. The Pumas scrambled it clear, pushed up the other end and Hitman clipped the heels of the opposition attacker as he moved into the box on the right. From my viewpoint a penalty was the right decision, but the call grated considering the two or three shouts we had rejected in the first half.
Hector chose the right way but the penalty was struck too well. The Pumas added a third soon after with some hesitant defending to blame but an own goal gave us a glimmer of hope with half an hour to play.
Kev tried a couple of shots from range which came close but ultimately the Pumas were in control and deserved their win.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
BBQ 31st May
Firstly, unlucky result on Saturday, we'll kick their arse all over the park when we play them at home............very unlucky boys with so many injured.
Secondly, I think we should cancel Saturdays BBQ because we have so many walking wounded and hospitalised players. This will give everyone time to spend some quality time with their own families and allow you all to continue collecting raffle prizes for our end of season trip.
Is everyone in agreement??
Watch this space for couple of options on CHOGS end of season trip!
Cheers
Social Dave
Friday, May 23, 2008
Chogs vs Pumas
Ah, the calm! With everything settled down again after a feisty week it's time to look ahead at our clash with the Pumas on Saturday. As I hope to be along to run the subs, and make sure you do your bloody warmups properly I thought I'd throw in a bit of a game plan for your reading pleasure.
Considering the number of missing personnel this week and the decent standing of our opponents and I think we should approach the game with a cautious mindset and be happy with a draw or better. My feeling is we should be working desperately to keep them out in the first half and then looking to expand a bit if they tire as the game goes on.
I would be looking to set you up as a 4-5-1 line up this week, with Mark Smith and the two Graemes looking to choke up the centre of midfield.
So, four acroos the back with Gary Jordan, Dean and Gary Hardie playing the central roles between them with Michael, GH and Phil working the outside roles.
In midfield GD working his arse off in front of the back four with MS and GP in there with him, getting stuck into the dirty work and Ian, Kev or Ant working the flanks. Sean, struggling with an injury, can be your hold the ball up man up front, as can Ant or Kev on occasion. Let's go in for a fight.
Considering the number of missing personnel this week and the decent standing of our opponents and I think we should approach the game with a cautious mindset and be happy with a draw or better. My feeling is we should be working desperately to keep them out in the first half and then looking to expand a bit if they tire as the game goes on.
I would be looking to set you up as a 4-5-1 line up this week, with Mark Smith and the two Graemes looking to choke up the centre of midfield.
So, four acroos the back with Gary Jordan, Dean and Gary Hardie playing the central roles between them with Michael, GH and Phil working the outside roles.
In midfield GD working his arse off in front of the back four with MS and GP in there with him, getting stuck into the dirty work and Ian, Kev or Ant working the flanks. Sean, struggling with an injury, can be your hold the ball up man up front, as can Ant or Kev on occasion. Let's go in for a fight.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Putting out the fire with gasoline
By Gary TT Jordan
Hey all you chogsters.
Using the rescue equipment is generally stressful but hanging upside down 5 metres of the ground can put it all in perspective.
I read the blog report about the game and was surprised but not disappointed we went down to Fernhill. In the first round last year we beat them 3-0 at home and I thought we may have been lucky. It was our first win for the year and our first home game having started with 3 away fixtures. Do we all remember last year. Just from the top of my head we played 18 games for 7 wins 3 draws and 8 losses. Could be wrong. I kill far too many brain cells to predict anything with absolute certainty. But I do recall enjoying most of the year.
Having read the comments from the match report just now it’s difficult to imagine that the Chogs I’ve been running around with this year were the same team from last year. I know we’ve had a few changes but not a full team transplant.
People talking about goals scored and those conceded. How poorly some thought they performed and whether others should have even been on the paddock. Without appearing ignorant I can honestly say that our position on the ladder and who we play next week is never something I pay much attention to. We all play the game because we love it. We get such enjoyment from watching it that we can’t wait to get out there each weekend and amplify that enjoyment by playing it. Well listen to this home truth.
Hospital casualty wards are filled every Saturday and Sunday afternoons with old blokes like us trying to turn the clock back 20-30 years. (A too aggressive cow springs to mind) Think about our own team here. I don’t mean to make an example of some of our players but Tony and now Shane are out for the year with John no certainty to come back. Who isn’t carrying an injury or struggling to get out of bed any other Sunday? OK Phil, you’re one right out of the box.
You know there’s nothing more enjoyable or comical than watching young kids run around Saturday mornings. And there’s nothing more sad than hearing overzealous parents screaming from the sidelines telling those kids what to do. I play the game each week hoping I have a fair game and that I avoid that trip to casualty. The result is secondary. I don’t need to know who we are playing until we take the field and even then it don’t matter.
The game is after all a game. One that nowadays I look forward to watching my son play more so than playing myself. The game is a social outlet for our family and others as well I would hope. Lets all look forward to the final day in May.
Before then we have the opportunity to play the ‘greatest game of all’. As a bonus we play a bunch of blokes we’ve never met at a ground only those experienced players among us would even know of.
Fortunately this decaying body will not have to work again on a Saturday this year. Unfortunately I won’t get to hang upside down well of the ground. Unless I’m saving someone’s life. Now wouldn’t that be something really important.
TT
ED'S note: If you wish to have access to post items directly onto Coastal Hogland please ask TH10 how. It's quite straightforward and all should enjoy the right to do this should they require.
Bye BBQ & Winning Team
Firstly, lets hope Shane recovers fully from the knee operation.
Secondly, is everyone still keen on having the BBQ on the 31st or should we hold back for the end of season trip, please respond to this posting or let Gary/TH know how you feel, our end of season trip can include all the prizes and raffles to make the weekend even more fun.
Thirdly, sorry if I was over the top regarding my defence of our defence, our front line had a bad day on Saturday as did most of the team including myself. Everyone will rasie their game on Saturday and come away with a great result, the team is strong enough to win this comp.
Good luck!!
Social Dave
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Quit threat rocks the Chogs
The crisis at table topping Coastal Hogs dramatically widened Wednesday when star sweeper Social Dave threatened to quit and his backup Shanus was ruled out for the season.
As recriminations turned personal following Saturday's shock loss to the cellar-dwelling Fernhill, SD first taunted the attack with allegations that they were unable to put the ball between the posts and under the bar then reacted with anger when it was pointed out that the defence was not up to the standard of AC Milan's in the late 1990s.
There was no respite on the injury front with Shane's knee requiring surgery. Beyond that, the level of personal gripes are starting to grate some team members.
"For Chrissakes, we are top of the table with five wins and a loss," said TH10. "It's not the freaking Champions League - it's Masters 2. We have had five goalscorers this season, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and now a couple of people look to be taking this all a bit too seriously.
"Who would have thought we were the sort of people to sledge someone who turned up to run subs, make personal attacks about our various abilities or threatened to pick up our ball and run off home when someone had a different opinion to ours."
Meanwhile in the inevitable period of transfer speculation, the Chogs have been linked to several players who could solve the issues they are confronted with currently.
"Yes, we haven't scored as many goals as Man Utd but we have had fewer losses than them," said TH10. "Yes our backs struggle to run the 50m up and back 40-50 times a Saturday, but I think I've come up with a solution. Harry Kewell is available currently but I'm not sure if we are prepared to gamble on someone with his fitness concerns, particularly in our current situation.
"I'm confident, however, that we could bring in someone like Eto'o or Ronaldhino. And, if SD carries through with his quit threat, then maybe we will move for Materazzi.
"Regardless, it's clear that the team we have is deeply flawed and will never amount to much more than a half decent Masters 2 side unless we spend more time bagging the shite out of each other."
As recriminations turned personal following Saturday's shock loss to the cellar-dwelling Fernhill, SD first taunted the attack with allegations that they were unable to put the ball between the posts and under the bar then reacted with anger when it was pointed out that the defence was not up to the standard of AC Milan's in the late 1990s.
There was no respite on the injury front with Shane's knee requiring surgery. Beyond that, the level of personal gripes are starting to grate some team members.
"For Chrissakes, we are top of the table with five wins and a loss," said TH10. "It's not the freaking Champions League - it's Masters 2. We have had five goalscorers this season, everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves and now a couple of people look to be taking this all a bit too seriously.
"Who would have thought we were the sort of people to sledge someone who turned up to run subs, make personal attacks about our various abilities or threatened to pick up our ball and run off home when someone had a different opinion to ours."
Meanwhile in the inevitable period of transfer speculation, the Chogs have been linked to several players who could solve the issues they are confronted with currently.
"Yes, we haven't scored as many goals as Man Utd but we have had fewer losses than them," said TH10. "Yes our backs struggle to run the 50m up and back 40-50 times a Saturday, but I think I've come up with a solution. Harry Kewell is available currently but I'm not sure if we are prepared to gamble on someone with his fitness concerns, particularly in our current situation.
"I'm confident, however, that we could bring in someone like Eto'o or Ronaldhino. And, if SD carries through with his quit threat, then maybe we will move for Materazzi.
"Regardless, it's clear that the team we have is deeply flawed and will never amount to much more than a half decent Masters 2 side unless we spend more time bagging the shite out of each other."
Other Stuff
Have added a button to the voting page that shows the current leaders
and for anyone that saw me spit the dummy on sat - I humbly apologise to all.
and for anyone that saw me spit the dummy on sat - I humbly apologise to all.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Bubble bursts for coastalhogland.com
By Ant
Back on their home paddock for the first time in over a month wasn’t enough for Coastal Hogs to maintain their unbeaten run, going down to a committed Fernhill side 1-0.
With Arsene Wenger unavailable to run the team on the day, a little guy with a moustache was placed in charge of the squad for what was expected to be another win for the team, however the ball just did not bounce Hogs' way all day. After the first 5 minutes of constant barrage of Fernhills’ goals by Sean and the like, Fernhill came up with the first goal of the match with a scrappy effort that saw 3 of their men in the 6 yard box deciding who was to kick it in the back of the net. From there Fernhill got a sniff and then promptly changed their formation to what seemed like a 2-2-6 which threw Hogs off balance. Matt put his hand up to the bench in the first half and was never to be seen again; in fact he was seen still clutching his hamstring when he arrived at the Sutherland Shire border and is in doubt for the weeks ahead. Half time came at a good time so the Hogs could regroup and listen to some words of wisdom from the ‘mild mannered moustached maestro’ and a chance to reflect on another poor start to a game. The 2nd half went by with Coastal Hogs playing the far better football. You could’ve counted the ball going into the Fernhill attacking half on 1 hand. One long through ball saw Fernhill have a chance to seal the win if it were not for the sprinting efforts of Hitman Hardie to clear the ball. Unfortunately this left Hitman feeling his ankle and saw him retire to the bench for the remainder of the game. Still Hogs had their chances to draw the game and indeed win it. With both Graeme’s running through the middle and down the right Hogs were still a chance right up until the final whistle but just couldn’t get the ball in the back of the net. Ant missed a golden opportunity with 5 minutes minute on the clock diving full stretch to head the ball just over the cross bar, then Fergus had a chance with a matter of seconds left from an Ant corner but just couldn’t get the power into the header. Disappointment was evident after the match with everyone having a story about why it all went so wrong – was it Ant losing the toss for the first time in the last 4 weeks; was it Graeme P struggling to run because a camera was inside his never never region; or was it because we just lacked a little intensity – for the record after 15 beers each and 4 bottles on wine over dinner on Saturday night, Fergus and Ant came to the conclusion what had happened . . . they scored 1 goal and we didn’t. Heads up Hogsters there is always next week. See you all at training.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Injury and lino updates
Shanus is out of this week's game and his long term future is in doubt after suffering the knee injury against IFS Rangers. He has yet to get in for a physio assessment but is still in some pain.
Shanus will attend on Saturday to run the subs bench in the absence of TH10.
GP, who injured his back last week, rates himself as a strong chance to take part, meaning we should have 14, although that includes Fungus, who is struggling with a groin strain.
Fernhill have been soundly beaten on most occasions this season but it is important to guard against complacency.
There were no surprises in the result of our latest poll - 10 out of 10 who voted would rather pay a linesman than do it themselves. This Saturday we are meant to supply two linesmen for the 3pm game following ours. Shanus's son Jai will take one flag and I'm looking into another option as well. This money ($24 each linesman each game) should come from the fines. The club has also responded on this issue but arranging for two linesmen to cover when we were expected to have four linesmen on a Saturday. That will cost us $90 so the total fee will be that plus whatever extra we shell out on the other two appointments.
Please keep in mind that these linesmen will be kids under 18 and are therefore untouchable in terms of harassment and criticism.
Good luck on Saturday!
Shanus will attend on Saturday to run the subs bench in the absence of TH10.
GP, who injured his back last week, rates himself as a strong chance to take part, meaning we should have 14, although that includes Fungus, who is struggling with a groin strain.
Fernhill have been soundly beaten on most occasions this season but it is important to guard against complacency.
There were no surprises in the result of our latest poll - 10 out of 10 who voted would rather pay a linesman than do it themselves. This Saturday we are meant to supply two linesmen for the 3pm game following ours. Shanus's son Jai will take one flag and I'm looking into another option as well. This money ($24 each linesman each game) should come from the fines. The club has also responded on this issue but arranging for two linesmen to cover when we were expected to have four linesmen on a Saturday. That will cost us $90 so the total fee will be that plus whatever extra we shell out on the other two appointments.
Please keep in mind that these linesmen will be kids under 18 and are therefore untouchable in terms of harassment and criticism.
Good luck on Saturday!
Monday, May 12, 2008
Around the hard, unkempt, sloping pitches...
EDITS TO FIX SCORE IN OLD BOYS V MAKOS
Fernhill (our next opponents) slumped to their third 7-0 defeat in a row against Jamberoo, who as a result have now moved into second place - 5 points behind the mighty Chogs.
Also on 10 points are the Puma Masters who had a 1-1 draw with Albion Park (and that was just the number of players from each side admitted to hospital).
The Pumas and Jamberoo have 3-1-1 records.
Shellharbour are fourth following a 5-2 victory over Old Boys FC.
In the weekends other game, Uni Gangrenes reverted to type, scoring two but conceding six against Russell Vale - who with their game in hand could well join the chasing pack on 10 points.
Fernhill (our next opponents) slumped to their third 7-0 defeat in a row against Jamberoo, who as a result have now moved into second place - 5 points behind the mighty Chogs.
Also on 10 points are the Puma Masters who had a 1-1 draw with Albion Park (and that was just the number of players from each side admitted to hospital).
The Pumas and Jamberoo have 3-1-1 records.
Shellharbour are fourth following a 5-2 victory over Old Boys FC.
In the weekends other game, Uni Gangrenes reverted to type, scoring two but conceding six against Russell Vale - who with their game in hand could well join the chasing pack on 10 points.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
CHOGS BBQ
Another great result but the games are getting tougher, luckily we've got the depth to continue winning.
The 31st May is getting closer, Ant & TH will look at the surf club should the local leagues team be playing at home.
Can everyone please start bringing something from work for the raffle we'll hold during the BBQ, it's a bit of fun and we'll only charge $1 per 5 tickets, it'll help towards our end of season trip and make the day even more enjoyable.
Again, everyone bring your prizes to training or the Saturday game, we've only got 3 weeks left.
Keep up the fantastic effort and thanks to the 'Fines Master' for finaly remembering his tin!
Cheers
Social Dave
"Stones" Izzard and Ant music rock the Rangers
Sean's coolly dispatched penalty and Ant's Thierry Henry-esque stunner led the table-topping Chogs to a high five wins straight on Saturday. The 2-1 victory over the IFS Rangers came in the toughest match of the five so far and the injury list suffered another addition with Shanus suffering a knee injury which ruled him out of the second half on Saturday and will require medical attention this week.
The Rangers started the better of the two sides as the Chogs struggled to get out of their own half in the opening quarter of an hour and should have gone 1-0 up when a ball from the left found their big striker unmarked in front of goal. He headed powerfully but Hector made a superb reaction save to tip it over the bar.
The Chogs dug in at the back and resisted the Rangers, despite the hosts' at times impressive passing game, then struck on a rare break forward. Kev was released down the right and swung a cross towards GJ only for it to be blocked by a defender's raised arm. The ref, who did nothing to hide his friendship with the home team before the game, did the right thing and pointed to the spot.
(GJ also did the right thing after claiming his freak goal a week earlier was a fluke. This time he made no infraction of the strikers' code by claiming he would have easily buried the header if the defender hadn't handled).
Sean, nicknamed "Jagger" because he's always with the (kidney) stones, stepped up and wrongfooted the IFS keeper.
The Rangers responded strongly but couldn't get close to the Chogs goal and as halftime approached the game started turning more and more our way.
A backline reshuffle followed Shane's departure and the midfielders rose to the task of extra work. GD saw more ball than in the first half and and played out the full second period while Ian also fought his ground. Matt, playing through the centre in the absence of Fergus, ran hard and sent the game decisively our way with an excellent ball over the top of the Rangers' defence.
Ant used his height and power to win a heading duel and then stormed away down the left, smacking the ball hard and low into the bottom right corner as the keeper advanced.
The Rangers were walking now but managed to rouse for a final fling. A goal bound shot hit Dean on the arm and the referee gave a penalty with four minutes left.
Hector, who memorably saved the previous penalty he faced last season, went the right way and parried the shot brilliantly only for the referee to order the kick retaken because he hadn't blown the whistle. Hector got his hand on the next attempt as well, but the ball squeezed through.
What followed were a tense couple of minutes. Ian fouled a Rangers player out near the right touchline (then kicked the ball fiercely into Shane's nads) and a dangerous freekick floated in from the right. A Rangers player (yes, he looked Italian) fell down dramatically in the box, screaming like a two year old who has just been woken up in a car at the Scarborough Wombarra Bowlo, and the ref blew his whistle and hurried over. To his eternal credit the ref gave the cheat a yellow card, although he inexplicably let play continue with a corner and the Chogs were hanging onto their three points at the end. The final whistle came five minutes earlier than usual because our opponents were late for the start. Who knows what they might have achieved in that extra time, but anything more than they got would have been an injustice.
The Rangers started the better of the two sides as the Chogs struggled to get out of their own half in the opening quarter of an hour and should have gone 1-0 up when a ball from the left found their big striker unmarked in front of goal. He headed powerfully but Hector made a superb reaction save to tip it over the bar.
The Chogs dug in at the back and resisted the Rangers, despite the hosts' at times impressive passing game, then struck on a rare break forward. Kev was released down the right and swung a cross towards GJ only for it to be blocked by a defender's raised arm. The ref, who did nothing to hide his friendship with the home team before the game, did the right thing and pointed to the spot.
(GJ also did the right thing after claiming his freak goal a week earlier was a fluke. This time he made no infraction of the strikers' code by claiming he would have easily buried the header if the defender hadn't handled).
Sean, nicknamed "Jagger" because he's always with the (kidney) stones, stepped up and wrongfooted the IFS keeper.
The Rangers responded strongly but couldn't get close to the Chogs goal and as halftime approached the game started turning more and more our way.
A backline reshuffle followed Shane's departure and the midfielders rose to the task of extra work. GD saw more ball than in the first half and and played out the full second period while Ian also fought his ground. Matt, playing through the centre in the absence of Fergus, ran hard and sent the game decisively our way with an excellent ball over the top of the Rangers' defence.
Ant used his height and power to win a heading duel and then stormed away down the left, smacking the ball hard and low into the bottom right corner as the keeper advanced.
The Rangers were walking now but managed to rouse for a final fling. A goal bound shot hit Dean on the arm and the referee gave a penalty with four minutes left.
Hector, who memorably saved the previous penalty he faced last season, went the right way and parried the shot brilliantly only for the referee to order the kick retaken because he hadn't blown the whistle. Hector got his hand on the next attempt as well, but the ball squeezed through.
What followed were a tense couple of minutes. Ian fouled a Rangers player out near the right touchline (then kicked the ball fiercely into Shane's nads) and a dangerous freekick floated in from the right. A Rangers player (yes, he looked Italian) fell down dramatically in the box, screaming like a two year old who has just been woken up in a car at the Scarborough Wombarra Bowlo, and the ref blew his whistle and hurried over. To his eternal credit the ref gave the cheat a yellow card, although he inexplicably let play continue with a corner and the Chogs were hanging onto their three points at the end. The final whistle came five minutes earlier than usual because our opponents were late for the start. Who knows what they might have achieved in that extra time, but anything more than they got would have been an injustice.
Friday, May 9, 2008
(Very brief) Match preview: IFS Rangers v Chogs
Sorry about the lateness of this but I've been out all day getting fitted for a Zimmer frame . . .
The Chogs will have 15 players Saturday for their fifth outing, against IFS Rangers at Judy Masters Park, Balgownie (Para or Brian Streets, chaps) at 1pm.
Fergus, battling a groin strain, joins TH10, JB and MS on the sideline as the Hogs attempt to keep their winning record intact. Last season we played IFS in our first ever Chogs outing, falling 3-2 after leading 2-1 with 10 minutes to play. In the rematch we won 6-4 in an incident packed game where Shanus ended up in goal for injured Hector.
In a bid to avoid the trouble we had with subs when fielding 15 against the Makos, I propose we stick with the 3 for 2 system in the wide backs (MA, PC and GH), central defence sweeper area (SK, DD, DJ) and attack (KS, GJ and KS). In the midfield we will have 5 for four - (MC, SI, IS, GP and GD). Depending on GP's fitness levels and the state of the game, we might change this at the break to slip him back and brink SK into the midfield.
See you there at 12.40pm for a warmup.
The Chogs will have 15 players Saturday for their fifth outing, against IFS Rangers at Judy Masters Park, Balgownie (Para or Brian Streets, chaps) at 1pm.
Fergus, battling a groin strain, joins TH10, JB and MS on the sideline as the Hogs attempt to keep their winning record intact. Last season we played IFS in our first ever Chogs outing, falling 3-2 after leading 2-1 with 10 minutes to play. In the rematch we won 6-4 in an incident packed game where Shanus ended up in goal for injured Hector.
In a bid to avoid the trouble we had with subs when fielding 15 against the Makos, I propose we stick with the 3 for 2 system in the wide backs (MA, PC and GH), central defence sweeper area (SK, DD, DJ) and attack (KS, GJ and KS). In the midfield we will have 5 for four - (MC, SI, IS, GP and GD). Depending on GP's fitness levels and the state of the game, we might change this at the break to slip him back and brink SK into the midfield.
See you there at 12.40pm for a warmup.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
High stakes and kidneys
Medical researchers* are at a loss to explain the "Chogs Phenonomen" - a bizarre scenario whereby almost every old bloke who has pulled on the famous black and yellow stripes this season has ended up sick (NB: not to be confused with "fully sick" as in good) or injured.
"I think we might be looking at a cluster situation," said TH10 tonight as he prepared to break news of the latest medical drama to strike our ranks. "These illnesses and injuries are too prevalent to be mere coincidence."
Sean, who is about to depart OS for medical treatment under the guise of a "holiday", has been diagnosed with some rather impressive kidney stones. "Marbles" Izzard revealed exclusively to Coastal Hogland that a possible treatment is something you really don't want to contemplate.
"Turns out I have a 12mm stone in the left kidney, and 8mm in the right," said Marbles. "I have a follow up with the doc on Monday. F$%^ me, I don't think I'll be passing those. If I fall in a
screaming heap on Saturday, give someone the tip."
Although initially reluctant to share his pain with his teammates in the unbeaten Masters 2 outfit, he spoke out in the interests of our continuing medical education.
"I think Marbles realises that while we might not win the title this year, win or lose we will be well placed to study medicine part time in the future," said TH10.
On the subject of treatment, Marbles had some sombre words.
"Generally they get blasted. It's called Lithotripsy - basically sound waves targeting the stones via an external machine, smashing them into smaller, passable bits.
"I don't really want to consider the other treatments which can include a laser which gains proximity to the kidneys via the (willy). Fear and trepidation ensue. But isn't it amazing how much we are learning this year."
"I just have two wishes," said TH10. "One is they don't put the willy in a cast afterwards. And second, if they do, he doesn't ask me to sign it."
* No medical researchers were interviewed for this story.
"I think we might be looking at a cluster situation," said TH10 tonight as he prepared to break news of the latest medical drama to strike our ranks. "These illnesses and injuries are too prevalent to be mere coincidence."
Sean, who is about to depart OS for medical treatment under the guise of a "holiday", has been diagnosed with some rather impressive kidney stones. "Marbles" Izzard revealed exclusively to Coastal Hogland that a possible treatment is something you really don't want to contemplate.
"Turns out I have a 12mm stone in the left kidney, and 8mm in the right," said Marbles. "I have a follow up with the doc on Monday. F$%^ me, I don't think I'll be passing those. If I fall in a
screaming heap on Saturday, give someone the tip."
Although initially reluctant to share his pain with his teammates in the unbeaten Masters 2 outfit, he spoke out in the interests of our continuing medical education.
"I think Marbles realises that while we might not win the title this year, win or lose we will be well placed to study medicine part time in the future," said TH10.
On the subject of treatment, Marbles had some sombre words.
"Generally they get blasted. It's called Lithotripsy - basically sound waves targeting the stones via an external machine, smashing them into smaller, passable bits.
"I don't really want to consider the other treatments which can include a laser which gains proximity to the kidneys via the (willy). Fear and trepidation ensue. But isn't it amazing how much we are learning this year."
"I just have two wishes," said TH10. "One is they don't put the willy in a cast afterwards. And second, if they do, he doesn't ask me to sign it."
* No medical researchers were interviewed for this story.
Injury update
I know many of you have been deeply concerned and the news is dire, I'm afraid. The dishwasher is buggered and must be replaced. Rob (No. 23 from the Cows) pronounced it dead at 9.45am today. It was doing okay until he jumped up and down on it, kicked it in the back and elbowed it in the dial.
Meanwhile, the number seven carted off in the ambulance on Saturday broke his shin bone in two places. Their sweeper suffered a groin strain and there were a few other moans and groans in their ranks after the game. For Hitman's benefit I discovered that the man who elbowed him in the eye last season has been forced to retire after snapping his achilles tendon in an over 40s competition at Jamberoo. Oh, and Rob said they were "looking forward" to the return game - whatever that means!
Meanwhile, the number seven carted off in the ambulance on Saturday broke his shin bone in two places. Their sweeper suffered a groin strain and there were a few other moans and groans in their ranks after the game. For Hitman's benefit I discovered that the man who elbowed him in the eye last season has been forced to retire after snapping his achilles tendon in an over 40s competition at Jamberoo. Oh, and Rob said they were "looking forward" to the return game - whatever that means!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Everybody hurts . . .
The rumour mill is rife with tales of post-Cow woes. Anthony is hobbling around on a painful ankle after being smashed early on. TH10 is unhappy because the guy who did it is his dishwasher fixer and said dishwasher packed it in on the night before the match (spooky or what?). Does he call the guy, or stick to hand washing? Gary J, scorer of two glorious goals following a genius decision from the coach to play him up front, is staggering around on the knees of a 100-year-old. John Brandman would just like a knee that worked, full stop. Sean is putting his back to back CHOTY dreams on hold to escape OS for a month at a world renown clinic for fixing sore heels (or did I read that wrong?). The Austi papers are full of talk of Fergus Rourke's dodgy groin - is this a problem peculiar to those who speak with an Irish lilt? Dave Downing, leader of the meanest backline in town, is likewise groin impaired. His partner in crime, Big Dean, has a heel spur and Gary H is in late stages of the TH10 affliction osteoitis pubis - oh, and he got a nasty bruise from that guy who broke his leg on him. Shane just needs to step on the field before he starts to hobble, Matt Carroll is coming back from the flu. Dr Doolittle, aka Graeme P, has Chron's Disease (warning: DO NOT look this up on the web moments before a meal). GP reports that he must swallow a mini camera this week and walk around with it inside him. Sounds like an elaborate way to spy on our training sessions before he returns to his old stamping ground of Balgownie. The camera is also less invasive than the question from a teammate last week: "Did Chron die from it?"
It's starting to get cold, which means Graeme Duncan won't be with us long because a teenage snowboarding freak will cut him in half on the slopes. Kevan Silver has a bad back, goalie Hector is probably still playing with a broken leg. So who does it leave? Big Phil was seen running around for 90 minutes at Sunday soccer. He is the iron man of this outfit. Ian Sinclair is Mr Perpetual Motion - he hates nothing more than coming off the field - but is there something amiss with his striking boot? Michael Anglin seems to be in rude health - is it because he has turned up too late for the warmups recently? Mark Smith? Yes, I remember a bloke called Mark Smith. Went to a posh restaurant with a bevvy of 18 year olds and was never heard from since. Perhaps he ate a dodgy oyster . . .
It's starting to get cold, which means Graeme Duncan won't be with us long because a teenage snowboarding freak will cut him in half on the slopes. Kevan Silver has a bad back, goalie Hector is probably still playing with a broken leg. So who does it leave? Big Phil was seen running around for 90 minutes at Sunday soccer. He is the iron man of this outfit. Ian Sinclair is Mr Perpetual Motion - he hates nothing more than coming off the field - but is there something amiss with his striking boot? Michael Anglin seems to be in rude health - is it because he has turned up too late for the warmups recently? Mark Smith? Yes, I remember a bloke called Mark Smith. Went to a posh restaurant with a bevvy of 18 year olds and was never heard from since. Perhaps he ate a dodgy oyster . . .
Monday, May 5, 2008
Around the grounds
Our next opponent, IFS Rangers, slumped to a 2-1 loss against Puma Masters on Saturday as the goals rained in in Masters 2. Elsewhere, two of our toughest rivals, Jamberoo and Old Boys FC, battled to a 4-4 stalemate. In an astonishing result (and no disrepect to the Students but I wouldn't be surprised if it was posted the wrong way around) Uni Gangrenes won their first of the season with an 8-2 defeat of Balgownie Crows. Fernhill were on the wrong side of a 7-0 shellacking from the Makos, who we beat 3-0 in our previous game. According to stats king Kev's table (with no help from the IAFA on this) the weekend results leave us six points clear at the top, having played an extra game on the chasing pack. I note that Kev's table hasn't included Uni's win from the weekend, so maybe I'm not the only one with doubts.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Heads, we win . . .
A performance brimming with desire and determination allowed the Chogs to twice come back from a goal down to maintain a perfect record from four outings on Saturday. Against an Albion Park team intent on kicking chunks out of our players, and crying like babies when it didn't work, good trumped evil 3-2 for a first win in three attempts against the Pigs, err Cows.
After working on heading during the previous training session, it was especially pleasing to see Gary J and Ant sent in goals off their noggins, while much credit should also go to Fergus and Sean for their magic deliveries.
A slow start saw us a goal down, also to a header, inside the opening 10 minutes but were soon back on level terms and looked the better, and fitter, side going into the break. Michael's wonderful surge through the centre almost brought us a second and our midfielders were beginning to assert their power on their opponents.
The second half kicked off with us full of expectation and after five minutes of dominance it was a shock to slip 2-1 behind as a rocket whistled through Hector's attempted punch clear. Within moments we were level again through Gary J's stunning cross from deep on the right which evaded everyone and cruised sweetly into the top corner. The Cows were udder-ly despondent after throwing away a second lead and were still bitching and moaning when Sean sent in a cross which Ant rose to head in. From there there were few scares - ably dealt with by Dave Downing's back line heroes - while a bit more compsure up front might have put the game beyond doubt. Gary H, sent to hospital by this bunch of ugly hack merchants last season, was involved in a 50-50 challenge where the late arriving Cow broke his leg and was taken to hospital by ambulance.
The Chogs were excellent across the park in a level of performance we didn't seem to rise to all last season. Physically punished we stood firm against the assaults. We kept our composure and stayed calm when the game went against us. And we deserved the three points completely.
After working on heading during the previous training session, it was especially pleasing to see Gary J and Ant sent in goals off their noggins, while much credit should also go to Fergus and Sean for their magic deliveries.
A slow start saw us a goal down, also to a header, inside the opening 10 minutes but were soon back on level terms and looked the better, and fitter, side going into the break. Michael's wonderful surge through the centre almost brought us a second and our midfielders were beginning to assert their power on their opponents.
The second half kicked off with us full of expectation and after five minutes of dominance it was a shock to slip 2-1 behind as a rocket whistled through Hector's attempted punch clear. Within moments we were level again through Gary J's stunning cross from deep on the right which evaded everyone and cruised sweetly into the top corner. The Cows were udder-ly despondent after throwing away a second lead and were still bitching and moaning when Sean sent in a cross which Ant rose to head in. From there there were few scares - ably dealt with by Dave Downing's back line heroes - while a bit more compsure up front might have put the game beyond doubt. Gary H, sent to hospital by this bunch of ugly hack merchants last season, was involved in a 50-50 challenge where the late arriving Cow broke his leg and was taken to hospital by ambulance.
The Chogs were excellent across the park in a level of performance we didn't seem to rise to all last season. Physically punished we stood firm against the assaults. We kept our composure and stayed calm when the game went against us. And we deserved the three points completely.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Newsflash!
Hey guys, very important info!! The game is at Geoff shaw oval, Fisher St Oak Flats, not terry street reserve. this ground is behind the shops at oak flats,just behind swimming pool I think,Ian.
Match preview: Cows v Chogs
The Chogs look to have a full complement of 16 players as they try to maintain their winning start away to Albion Park Cows on Saturday (3pm). The Cows proved a tough hurdle for us last season, beating us 3-1 down there and then coming from behind to draw 1-1 at the Burg. That day will be remembered mostly for the nasty elbow inflicted on Gary Nine Stitches Hardie, a vicious offence that wasn't even deemed worthy of a freekick by a far too charitable referee.
In the opening match against them last season we gave away three sloppy goals and had only a late reply. At home we hammered them senseless in the first half without breaking through before Kevan lobbed the keeper early in the second half. An unlucky concession - a freekick which came back off the bar, hit Hector and went in - gave the Cows an undeserved point.
With 16 fit we can revert to the same game plan as against Uni - three players for two spots around the field. Gary Jordan will start in the strikers unit with Ant and Kev, although Matt is an option if a change is needed.
We are on fantastic roll but it is tough games like this which will give us a true indication of our chances this season. Warmup to start at 2.45pm with everyone dressed and ready to hit it.
The positions and three-man units
GK: PH
Outside backs: PC, MA, GH
Stopper/sweepers/ centre halfs etc : Shane, Dean, Dave
Wide mids: Ian, Matt, GD
Central mids, Sean, Fergus, GP
Strikers: Kev, Ant, GJ
Two of each on at a time
In the opening match against them last season we gave away three sloppy goals and had only a late reply. At home we hammered them senseless in the first half without breaking through before Kevan lobbed the keeper early in the second half. An unlucky concession - a freekick which came back off the bar, hit Hector and went in - gave the Cows an undeserved point.
With 16 fit we can revert to the same game plan as against Uni - three players for two spots around the field. Gary Jordan will start in the strikers unit with Ant and Kev, although Matt is an option if a change is needed.
We are on fantastic roll but it is tough games like this which will give us a true indication of our chances this season. Warmup to start at 2.45pm with everyone dressed and ready to hit it.
The positions and three-man units
GK: PH
Outside backs: PC, MA, GH
Stopper/sweepers/ centre halfs etc : Shane, Dean, Dave
Wide mids: Ian, Matt, GD
Central mids, Sean, Fergus, GP
Strikers: Kev, Ant, GJ
Two of each on at a time
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Fun while it lasted . . .
Ian said it best when he talked of that evil four letter word R-E-S-T. When the doctor uttered it today I was prepared. It's not as if I couldn't see it coming. Not being able to walk from the car to the house unaided after last week's game told me that not only weren't things improving, they were getting much worse. Being in the right place at the right time twice against the Makos had me thinking that I could still play a role. I think I still can, just not on the field.
The injury, albeit unconfirmed until a bone scan, is called osteitis pubis - an inflammation of the pelvic area. My doctor has told me to rest for a month and then come see him. Websites (here's a hint, never look at websites when you have an injury) suggest an "athlete" should take minimum 3-6 months off . No mention of how long an over the hill weekend hacker should expect to be sidelined.
So, where are we? I won't be playing for the next 4-5 games at least and am preparing myself for the big one: a season-ending situation. I hope I'm being alarmist.
Should we be thinking about approaching Greg Rendell about another player? We can discuss that here or on Saturday. If you guys are happy, I'm prepared to continue coaching, including in a training, team formation and matchday capacity. If you'd prefer to run it from within the playing ranks I'd completely respect that and come along just to cheer.
More info on osteitis pubis at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteitis_pubis
The injury, albeit unconfirmed until a bone scan, is called osteitis pubis - an inflammation of the pelvic area. My doctor has told me to rest for a month and then come see him. Websites (here's a hint, never look at websites when you have an injury) suggest an "athlete" should take minimum 3-6 months off . No mention of how long an over the hill weekend hacker should expect to be sidelined.
So, where are we? I won't be playing for the next 4-5 games at least and am preparing myself for the big one: a season-ending situation. I hope I'm being alarmist.
Should we be thinking about approaching Greg Rendell about another player? We can discuss that here or on Saturday. If you guys are happy, I'm prepared to continue coaching, including in a training, team formation and matchday capacity. If you'd prefer to run it from within the playing ranks I'd completely respect that and come along just to cheer.
More info on osteitis pubis at
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Osteitis_pubis
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