JB's cat scam

We've had OP and groin strains, kidney stones and heel spurs. But now come news of the most ridiculous injury of the season.
Skipper John B reveals he wasn't hurt getting out of his car, as falsely reported on Saturday.
"In the realm of ludicrous, I was burying our recently demised cat ( yes it was dead ) in the backyard," John tells Coastal Hogland. "Due to the rigamortis it had stiffened into a position such that the hole I had to dig in the solid clay of our backyard was of such customised shape that it involved a pick, mattock & shovel. Obviously I'm not built to be an undertaker for within minutes of finishing the burial, my lower back went into such a spasm I was unable to get up, down or even roll without shooting pains.
"Now 2 bouts of chiro & many voltarin tablets later it is just starting to ease up."
John says "this has happened to me before (ED: he obviously has trouble keeping cats alive) and usually rectifies itself over several days."
The skipper is out for the next two weeks (snow sports) but there are fears that it might be longer if the RSPCA cottons onto his record.