Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Full draw made
The games that weren't played on sat have been rescheduled for Sun 18th May. So much for there being no double headers....the words 'brew' and 'piss-up' spring to mind.
From the manager's desk
By Gary TT Jordan
Given our stuttered start to the season, we are indeed fortunate that after five rounds, we have played three games. Taking into account the first round bye and a washout the team is struggling to attain a measure of match fitness. Despite our slow start to the season it’s surprising to note that we are at the top of the competition table.
The way that we’re starting each week and recovering afterwards is evidence enough that our pre-match ritual is paying dividends.
The game against the Makos was pleasing from an effort perspective but it did highlight one area of concern. Ball control. Yours truly can lay claim to at least four awful passes and at least that many bad decisions.
On a positive note it was good to see the ball in our oppositions net on three occasions. Well done to Tony and Sean. At the back our defense stood solid and its welcoming to have our Goalie Pete displaying such solid early season form. (Goal Keepers, who needs 'em? indeed).
Management look forward to seeing you all at training on Wednesday, weather permitting, and encourage everyone to look to your individual fitness levels at other times of the week. I mean you ‘Cripple’. Given that it was warm on Saturday we all have excuses for our lack of physical prowess but nobody blew harder and contributed as little as that insignificant little mouth piece.
Everyone should be looking forward to the Cows next Saturday as well as the cooler weather the coming weeks will bring. The cripple hopes the selectors keep him in the side long enough to feel the chillier winter months.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Coastal Hogs BBQ
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Shellharbour Makos 0 CHOGS 3
Ultimately, we kicked off with 15 able bodies in the only Masters 2 match of the round. The other teams will now have to play a make up day, most likely on Mothers Day, so we dodged a bullet there.
The Makos contained several players from the quite good George Cross outfit which beat us twice last season but also had a smattering of newbies, as well as none of the teenagers they paraded a year earlier.
While quite adept at moving the ball through their midfielders, the Makos lacked a cutting edge up front and were prone to panic at the back.
Ian made the most of their lack of composure after about 15 minutes, swinging a long ball from the left towards TH10 at the far post. A defender failed to cut it out and TH10's ample belly cushioned the ball down for him to sidefoot past the keeper. TH10 missed a golden opportunity for a second soon after following a picked up backpass by the Makos keeper. Ant should have been hitting it with his left but instead the senior forward sent it blazing high and wide.
There were other chances too, Ant whistling one wide at the near post, TH10 sending his header straight at the keeper and Sean just failing to connect with a superb deep cross from Matt.
Whenever the Makos threatened the defence got good bodies in front of the ball or Hector continued his fantastic early season form between the sticks. GD and Fergus came off second best in sickening aerial collisions and the Chogs were hanging on as the halftime whistle blew.
Fergus came into the game sporting a hangover and the knock on the head did little to improve his health.
The substitution system went horribly wrong in the second half to the extent that the Chogs lost their shape and sometimes the plot. At one stage we had four defenders on the sideline, on another it was three attackers.
Despite the self inflicted wounds, we managed to forge further ahead, Sean being sent clean through and rounding the keeper to slot in the second against the run of play. Soon after he played a perfectly weighted ball over the head of the Makos centre half and TH10 trundled through to clip the ball first time past the advancing keeper and into the far corner of the net.
The third completely deflated the opposition who resorted to long shots, although they did threaten when DJ brought down an attacker inside the box. The ref called it outside, wrongly, and in a shot which summed up the Makos afternoon, the ball rifled against the bar and was squirrelled off to safety by our resilient defence. Gary H's wonderful goal saving tackle, Brick Wall Phil's unpassability and a stunning low save by Hector typified our defensive effort.
Matt picked up a booking for kicking the ball away - Fergus was most aggrieved that Sue Phillipson was taking photos of monkeys at the time - and the forwards messed up a few golden opportunities to add to the scoreline. All in all, a satisfying way to surge clear at the top of the table. We are scoring goals, keeping clean sheets and winning while mindful that we have improvement in us. Happy days.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Today's game
Wollongong Council Games are OFF
Shellharbour Council Games are ON
Games at the University are ON
Private grounds in Wollongong area are OFF - private grounds in other Council areas are ON subject to referee's pitch inspection.
As the entire round has not been cancelled all Divisions including the Masters Divisions will be playing these games at a later date.
Yes, this means we are on today.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Rain, IAFA and other catastrophes
http://www.iafa.com.au
Ian raises a couple of points in earlier comments. The first is the decision to not replay washouts this season. Already that has cost us a game and will probably cost us another this weekend. On that, even though it might be sunny at Warilla, the policy of no replays of washouts means they must call off all games or none. They can't play our match against Shellharbour and call off the games in the WCC area because there would be no chance for the others to make it up.
Now I admit to being one of the loudest whingers last season when we twice had to back up for Sunday matches against teams who had a bye on the Saturday. I still remember the hamstring pain and the feeling of complete effedness which set in around the 70 minute mark of game two. Yet, it was a better system than the current one. I have asked the organisers how they came to this decision but can't get an answer. Ian suggests we lobby for the return of washout replays. I agree with him but am mindful that not everyone likes or wants the doubleheaders.
I can't see anything changing this season but I've put a new poll up at left so you can have a vote. I agree with Ian that we need a presence at the IAFA meetings but I'm not in the position to do this because of other committee work. Perhaps Ian or someone else would like to have a think about doing this and investigating how we can have a better say before next season.
If we vote to support replays as a team then our representative can take up the case with the IAFA.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
5th Round Draw *finally* made
...assuming I can work out the website correctly and 'Y' means Morley Park..I can see how 'MP' could mean Morley Park, but 'Y'......?
Other Games
IFS Rangers v Uni Gangrenes
Pumas v Balgownie Crows
Fernhill v Albion Park
Ols Boys - Russell Vale
Jamberoo - Bye
Training off
Game this weekend is against......at......
I hope Frank isn't going to stick to his suggestion that nobody gets any points for last weekend. What if only one or two games were washed out and not the whole round?
Seriously, I never thought anyone could make the MWFA look competent, but the IAFA seem to manage to do just that.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Match report: CHOGS 0 v Old Boys 0
Were the Hogs just a dream? On a sunny autumn day spent at the pub it felt that way. What about next week? I have no idea where we'll be at 1.45pm because neither does the IAFA, although a draw is promised for the rest of the season "in the next couple of days."
My tip is we'll know on Sunday (week).
Cheers
TH10
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Training tonight
Monday, April 14, 2008
Message from the club
Guys,
As per previous communication, I wish to advise the following about next weekend’s game at Helensburgh.
Greg Rendell
Around the grounds: week three
They may have competition for the worst defence as newcomers Balgownie Crows conceded 10 against Jamberoo. The Crows conceded four a week earlier against the Cows.
IFS suffered their first loss, against Shellharbour, who enjoyed their first win of the season. Puma Masters continued a weekend of high scoring with a 7-0 drubbing of Fernhill.
The table is available in the Stats Centre, or directly at
http://cia.com.au/spy/cgi-bin/table.cgi?fixture=fixture
Results
IFS Rangers 1 Shellharbour Makos 2
Jamberoo 10 Balgownie Crows 0
Old Boys FC 7 Uni Gangrenes 1
Russell Vale 0 Coastal Hogs 1
Puma Masters 7 Fernhill FC 0.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Russell Vale 0 Coastal Hogs 1: UPDATE
This game was tougher than some of us expected it to be and the opening half an hour, in blazing sunshine, was a midfield dogfight.
Neither team really looked like breaking through until Mark's presence of mind sparked the opener. Coming into the box on the right he rolled an inch perfect ball behind the Russell Vale defence. TH10 made the run towards the near post and clipped the ball past the RV keeper for the only goal.
Mark departed at half time, leaving us with three subs but the loss wasn't immediately obvious as we completely dominated the opening quarter hour of the second period.
Ant chested down a through ball from Sean into TH10s path but the shot curled away from the far post.
There were other chances too. TH10 put a left foot drive over and Graeme Duncan had two players in support after another surge down the right but could only find a defender's toe.
As time wore on, anxiousness crept into the Hogs' game and it was mostly thanks to Pete and Dave Downing's booming clearances that we stayed firm at the back. Pete made a double save from one freekick and climbed high to save another.
Hard tackles were flying in from both sides - TH10 was lucky to avoid a caution for one late hack - while Gary H and Graeme P were cleaned up without winning freekicks.
With time running out, Ant might have sealed the game, running onto a long through ball but becoming the victim of a wicked bobble just as he was pulling the trigger.
The game ended with TH10's accidental boot in the RV keeper's nose, the referee calling time on a real struggle where three points were perhaps not completely deserved but certainly welcome.
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Russell Vale 0 Coastal Hogs 1
Mark Smith's delightful through ball to TH10's run gave us the first half lead and we held on to stay unbeaten after three rounds.
A longer match report to follow in the next few days.
Friday, April 11, 2008
Match preview: Russell Vale vs. Coastal Hogs
We are all aware of the speed of their number 15 and the lack of it in their back division shown during the trial. The forward's shot didn't match his pace, especially when he was forced out into wide areas. The keeper made some good saves but they had moments of real confusion at the back and he did help Matt's winning goal into the bottom corner. We will need to start better than we did in the 6-2 win last week. At training this week we looked at stringing some passes together and getting the ball out to the flanks - let's keep it calm throughout the team. We've shown that if we go a goal down we have the firepower and scoring options to get right back into the game. In a trial and opening game we have now had five different scorers, and that's without Mark, Tony or Kevan getting on the scoresheet yet. Whatever the opening 15 minutes throws at us this week, let's keep our calm, keep the yelling constructive and keep on task.
We have four players missing from the 19 - John, Gary J, Shane and Michael. This leaves us with 14 outfield players to rotate.
The plan (and we all know these can change!) is to have two divisions of seven players with five on at one time from each division.
In the defensive division, along with Hector in goal, we have PC, GD, DJ, DD, GH, GP and Ian, dropping back from the (attacking) midfield this week. These seven will cover the duties of sweeper/stopper, fullbacks and a defensive midfielder, responsible for giving us a presence in the midfield "hole" which we lacked in the trial game. I see that being a job for Ian, GP (as he did against Uni) or DD to fill at various times.
Dave should run this group during the game, knowing where everyone is and should be, organising and keeping it ticking over.
In the front division we have seven to cover the five positions of 2x forwards, right mid, left mid, attacking mid. They will be TH, AR, KS, MS, SI, MC and FR. Tony will look after this division. Speed breaking forwards, cover back by the midfielders into that hole, good use of width and smart use of substitutions should be the key here.
As before, this is all up for discussion. Last week the plan changed based on the blog discussion and the same might happen again.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Message from the skipper
That was a good start to the season on Saturday. To keep the roll going I think the team just needs to be more urgent in defence and not let the other team have time on the ball. In attack I think we looked good when we used the pitch width. As I said, this game is so easy from the sideline.
Cheers
John
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Introducing . . . Tony Harper
My first soccer team Moggill United under 8s. Note the colours! Year two we won the club’s first ever premiership (it was the club’s second ever year). I scored nine in one game but got banned from another for refusing to use my left foot at training. Karma now has me coaching arrogant nine year olds.
My greatest soccer moment Hey, after turning my back on it for 22 years I’d play every day if I could. Game one with the Hogs last year would rate highly but nothing I’ve done or seen in the game comes close to Australia 3 Japan 1 in Kaiserslautern (pictured with Matt, just after the third goal). I think about that shit

WAGs name Sweetie (Lisa to you).
KADs names Roberta (Skippy or Bobbie), 13, of Berlin. Beck (Beckles), 9, and Shay (Shady) (whatever age he damn well chooses to be) of Wombarra. Dogs break your heart.
That embarrassing childhood nickname was Dustin. I think it was because I looked like Tootsie when I frocked up.
My job Stay at home dad (fulltime). Sports journalist (part time).
What I want to be when I grow up A striker for Arsenal (I'd settle for being a central defender).
My favourite footy team Coledale Waves under 9s (pictured). Win, draw or flogged by Balgownie they never ever let you down.

My favourite sportsman Anthony Ritter – you seen what that man’s done?
My favourite TV show The Sopranos is the daddy of ‘em all but I also get my kicks from box sets of Entourage, Shameless, Boston Legal and the chronically ignored The Wire.
Fave movie Foreign language: Wings of Desire. English: Withnail & I. American: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
Fave musician/band Can I have five? Or 50? In no particular order: Pixies, Pavement, New Order, Go-Betweens, Nick Cave, Johnny Cash. Not to mention, Nina Simone, Groove Armada, Yo la Tengo, Lemonheads and Beck. Then there’s …
The song or album I like the most The song is Into Your Arms by Nick Cave – got married to it and Beck was born to it. The album is Crooked Rain Crooked Rain by Pavement – time and place.
My favourite (other) sport There are other sports? Kidding – that would be sepak takraw. The greatest sport of the Asian Games.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2yaTUjRiFSY&feature=related
Last book I read Last one I really dug was We Need to Talk about Kevin , by Lionel Shriver, written as a long letter from the mother to the father of a child who has shot and killed classmates during a school massacre. Amazing. The past four books have paled beside it.
Cheese or chocolate Epoisses. A 50 percent fat soft cow’s milk from Burgundy and a very special treat if I’ve been good.
Paris or Kylie? Ally Sheedy in The Breakfast Club before Molly Ringwald took her out the back and “fixed” her up.
If I was a TV character I’d be Ari, from Entourage.
If I was a type of fish I’d be Out of water
My dream car is 100 percent solar powered, can drive to TIGS and back without me and is capable of picking its own rotting food off the back floor.
If I had $10 million I’d give it to Shane Keating for a new body that works.
The best beer is native to the country you are in at that very moment.
I’d like to be reincarnated as a nine year old in a soccer team being coached by my son.
Goalkeepers. Who needs ‘em I know who doesn’t need ‘em. Sepak takraw. And they get along just fine.
Tell us a joke Q: What’s the worst thing about having a lung transplant? A: Having to cough up someone else’s phlegm (from my 40 smokes a day period).
Introducing . . . Gary Twinkletoes Jordan
Where I grew up One Tree Point (Padstow Heights).
My first team Padstow Park, where I played for six years.
Greatest soccer moment Premiership playing for Padstow United. Played juniors for nine years so it was great to have a trophy with “Premiers” on it instead of “outstanding effort”.
Wags name Belinda.
Kads Gabriele, Darcy, Tess and our very hairy Georgie.
Embarrassing nickname as a child Jordash.
Current Nickname GJ, Gazpo, Gizmo and AKA “The Cripple”.
My job Clerk of Works.
My dream job Publican.
Fave team and why Australia. Don’t closely follow domestic sport and don’t watch a lot of TV.
Fave other sport Women’s beach volleyball.
Fave sportsman Toss up between Shane Gould and Evonne Cawley. Both achieved world wide dominance without giving a stuff. Sport isn’t everything.
Fave TV show Currently Boston Legal.
Fave movie Very hard to say. I do like the western but with all respect to John Wayne and Clint Eastwood you can’t go past Silverado.
Fave Band Cold Chisel. ‘East’ is my favourite collection of songs.
Fave song Let’s stick together (Bryan Ferry).
What I like to cook Pizza.
Last Book I read Trinity for the second time. Leon Uris has a high rating on my list of authors
If I had $10,000,000 I wouldn’t forget the little people who helped along the way
Quiet night in or big night out Big night out with Paris. Quiet night in with Kylie.
Cheese or chocolate Love a cheese cake with chocolate topping
TV Character to whom I most relate Paul Hogan’s drunken bum always shown carousing to the music of the Entertainer.
Best Beer Anything cold except that Chopper Read stuff.
What Does Christian Ronaldo Have That I Don’t $10,000,000.
My Dream Car Would have to be red.
Goalkeepers. Who Needs ‘em Let’s wait and see.
Tell us a joke An unattractive woman with two poorly behaved children walks toward a hotel entrance. She is cursing the kids as she approaches the doorman. “Lovely children you have there m’am,” he says. “Are they twins?” “Are you blind and stupid you idiot,” she retorts. “Can’t you see they don’t look a thing alike.” “I know says the doorman, it’s just I can’t believe a bloke would shag you twice.”
Votes
It would appear that four people voted for David, Fergus and Anthony all within about 30 seconds of each other. That seems *very* unlikely (especially since I just found a glitch in the program).
I know one of the four that voted that way, but unless three others come forward, I'm going to discount three of those votes.
You can let me know privately if you're one of the other three and don't want the rest of the team to know you didn't vote for them!
Monday, April 7, 2008
Dream Team
Caption competition!
Picture perfect
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Coastal Hogs 6, Uni Gangrenes 2
There was nothing new about the sluggish start as we conceded the opening goal inside the opening 15 minutes but after a bit of yelling and reorganisation we got our act togehter to impose ourselves on a team labouring without a sub in the first half.
The rotation system seemed to work well for the Hogs, with 16 keen (if not completely healthy) players running hard and benefiting from short rests. Sean , with his fourth goal in as many Hogs games, levelled the scores when put through one on one with Uni's keeper, who stood on his line like a statue. Goals from Ant and Ian - the latter shrouded in controversy after the ref Greg Rendell rightly called Ian onside - gave us a 3-1 margin at halftime. The next goal was always going to be decisive and when Fergus dinked his shot past the keeper after a delightful through ball the Uni spirits flagged. Ant and Fergus added a second each and both could have finished with hat-tricks while Ian also whistled a shot just wide of the far post. While Uni conceded six in their opening game, against Jamberoo, and look unlikely to contend for the finals, we did all that could be expected in a dominant performance.
Don't forget to get onto the stats centre to vote for your player of the match and please get on to the comment section to leave your verdict on our first game for 2008.
Finally, if anyone took photos of the game, or the team beforehand, please email them to Tony to post here.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Match preview: Hogs v Uni
With 15 outfield players to pick from, all should be looking for two thirds a game, or in words 15 minutes off each half and an hour of play all up.
To facilitate this and try to keep a manageable structure, the coaching committee (why do you want to know?) has arrived at a sensible (to them anyway) system of five, 3-man units. Two of the three players in the following groups are on the field at any one time.
So we have
Outside backs (left and right wide defenders): MA, GH, PC.
Centrebacks/stopper, sweeper: GP, DD, SK.
2 central midfield: SI, MS, FR.
2 wide midfielders: MC, IS, DJ
2 attackers; KS, AR, TH10
If the ill attacker is ruled out, Gary Jordan will join the wide midfielders group, Matt Carroll will come into the middle and Fergus will play up front.
Obviously injuries, exhaustion etc could come into play to throw these plans out but with Gary, or the ill forward running subs the thinking should be done for you.
As for a starting team, it depends on all getting there in plenty of time.
We are expected at the ground at 12.15pm to erect the nets. We will do our dynamic warmup about 15 minutes before KO, ie at 12.45pm. If all are present then the starting team will be.
PH
GH, DD, SK, PC
DJ SI MS IS
TH KS
As you can see this has the incumbents starting, other than Michael, who joins the four newcomers on the bench to start the game. This will be the only time this season this concession is made to 2007 Hogs and I hope no-one has an issue with it.
Uni lost their opening match 6-1. We put about six past them in one match last season but drew the other, so it is far from a done deal.
Good luck and see you there.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Here we go
It appears we are still split down the middle on whether or not to tell the club we want to stick with 19 or accept that we need to do wwhat they want. For now, hopefully we can leave this behind and concentrate on our opening game this week. Details of a hastily cobbled together 6-6-3 lineup for our 15 outfield players will be revealed later. Although Mark Smith will probably call from Bosnia or Brisbane or Beijing whichever sh*thole he's currently lawyering in to say he can't make it, sending the best laid plans to ruin.
Only three more sleeps!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
More fixtures released
Round four has us back at home at 1pm hosting the Old Boys FC - a repeat of a memorable match last season where TH10 ended up in hospital and twinkletoes Jordan scored the late winner.
More draw details will be posted as they come to hand.