High stakes and kidneys

Medical researchers* are at a loss to explain the "Chogs Phenonomen" - a bizarre scenario whereby almost every old bloke who has pulled on the famous black and yellow stripes this season has ended up sick (NB: not to be confused with "fully sick" as in good) or injured.
"I think we might be looking at a cluster situation," said TH10 tonight as he prepared to break news of the latest medical drama to strike our ranks. "These illnesses and injuries are too prevalent to be mere coincidence."
Sean, who is about to depart OS for medical treatment under the guise of a "holiday", has been diagnosed with some rather impressive kidney stones. "Marbles" Izzard revealed exclusively to Coastal Hogland that a possible treatment is something you really don't want to contemplate.
"Turns out I have a 12mm stone in the left kidney, and 8mm in the right," said Marbles. "I have a follow up with the doc on Monday. F$%^ me, I don't think I'll be passing those. If I fall in a
screaming heap on Saturday, give someone the tip."
Although initially reluctant to share his pain with his teammates in the unbeaten Masters 2 outfit, he spoke out in the interests of our continuing medical education.
"I think Marbles realises that while we might not win the title this year, win or lose we will be well placed to study medicine part time in the future," said TH10.
On the subject of treatment, Marbles had some sombre words.
"Generally they get blasted. It's called Lithotripsy - basically sound waves targeting the stones via an external machine, smashing them into smaller, passable bits.
"I don't really want to consider the other treatments which can include a laser which gains proximity to the kidneys via the (willy). Fear and trepidation ensue. But isn't it amazing how much we are learning this year."
"I just have two wishes," said TH10. "One is they don't put the willy in a cast afterwards. And second, if they do, he doesn't ask me to sign it."
* No medical researchers were interviewed for this story.